Antialiasing does not work in 2017 SP4.1

Pretty much what the title says. I'm sick and tired of trying to find user-generated hotfixes for stuff like this. Unfortunately I've searched high and low, tried every fix for this issue (in older threads) and I'm back to square one. I can enable FSAA just fine but it doesn't actually do anything. Edges are just as jagged as ever.

I'm running Windows 10 on a Thinkpad W530 with a K2000 GPU, plenty of RAM, through a dock with 2 external monitors. I thought it might be external monitors but no, does the same thing when it's just the laptop. I've tried forcing AA through the nVidia control panel to no effect. I tried leaving it to Solidworks to figure out but that's a laugh.

I downgraded the Quadro drivers to the most recent "tested" version recommended by Solidworks. Nothing.

This is a really stupid problem to have to spend 2 days googling. I found a thread from 2010 (!!!) discussing this issue with a user-provided hotfix which sadly did not work for me. In that thread a SW representative assured everyone they would fix it "soon." Apart from adding a non-functional (in my case) menu option I'm not seeing the effort.

Anybody have any tips for me? I've got "certified" drivers, a "certified" laptop, the most recent service pack. Apparently that's not enough so please just help me figure out which gremlin is causing the issue. I remember the first time I played a low-budget video game that supported anti-aliasing. Was pretty awesome at the time. I think it was back in 1998. Damned if Dassault can crack that nut in a measly 2 decades though.

Thanks for any guidance.

SolidworksAdministration